What Getting Dumped Says About Me

I read this in an article somewhere, and I read it while finalizing a settlement in contemplation of divorce.  It was helpful enough somehow that I printed it, and I was about to recycle it when I realized that it might be helpful to have it in writing -- both for myself . . . and for other family members if they face a similar situation (hopefully not in divorce, but surely at some point unfortunately in getting dumped).

The article was divided into two parts:  (i) Things You Say to You (or Things I Say to Me) and (ii) Things God Says to You (or Things God Says to Me).  The first category generally consists of voices to be resisted and denied; but the latter category speaks truth.

Things I Say to Me

1.  You're unlovable.  He/She was right to dump you.  You're ugly.  You're insufficient.  You're flawed.  You've got this wrong and that wrong.  And you're not as good (or as good looking) as _______ [fill in the blank].

2.  There's no one else like him/her.  He/She was perfect.  No one else can make me feel like they he/she did.

3.  You'll be alone forever.

4.  You'll feel this way forever.  This was your only shot.

5.  God is punishing me for something.

Things God Says to Me

1.  Love isn't about being perfect.  It's not about being a "10".

2.  You are loved.

3.  Your circumstances are not random.

4.  You will be okay.  You'll have what you need.

5.  Heartbreak enables you to love; it gives you special insight.  Injuries make you into someone new.  Better.  Best.