Putting It All Together

Together, the posts of the last month or two or three (including, for example, the draft or two that I also created and haven't posted) seem to have a common tie -- that is, this:


"It's not good to live too long in one's own mind, alone." 


It might be one thing if life were certain to be short from Point A to Point B -- if you knew you would die shortly.  But we don't know.  I don't know.


It also might be one thing if the next mission in life were crystal clear and plain to see.  But often it is not that clear. 


What is certain to me at this point is that it is not a good thing for me to live too long in my own mind -- in a form of solitary confinement.  The prison guard at Robben Island described those horrors.  I think I feel them when I berate myself, when I curse myself and scream inside.  I don't do that when I'm experiencing true relationship.  There's something real about this difference.


We are not meant to live alone.  I am not meant to live alone.  Actually, I was for the past few years for some very good reasons.  And I largely enjoyed it . . . until I didn't.  Like termites in the attic, loneliness grew slowly and unnoticed, until the ceiling collapsed. 


And so, "Isolation" may not be my calling into the future. 


We are made to live in relationship.  With God.  With others.


Not in solitary confinement.  Not alone.

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And so, Father, into your hands I commit . . . everything.  Lead the way.  I don't know where I'm going.